Be Gentle With Yourself

Today was one of those days.  There was nothing wrong, it was a beautiful day with a sky full of white and blue fluffy drama, we spent time in the  park just me and my favorite girl.  She even took her nap easy-peasy, on time, and with almost no fuss whatsoever.  But somehow in spite of a perfect day, a perfect moment, I was like an exposed nerve ready to blame the whole world with the ways in which it was irritating me.  Oh so conscious of this I was, I set out to lay in the sun during nap time, let the rays burn away the bother so that I could get on to my to do list, only to be irrationally disturbed by the excessive motor noise from my dear neighbor who seems to be aspiring to turn his front yard into a museum of Chevy pick-up trucks.  I came inside.  I realised loud and clear.  Its me.  And that is ok.

See, I’ve been here before, many times in fact.  Just off, just funky.  I have handled it in many different ways in my life.  I have smoked, eaten, yelled, blamed, cried, shamed, shopped, avoided, and tv’d my way through these moods.  I have created dramatic situations on the outside of my life to match the inside, I have dug holes inches or miles deep that require all sorts of work, and effort to climb out of them.  But not today because the stakes are high. I have a baby to take care of.

I thought to myself, “What would I want Cora to do for herself if she felt like this?  What do I want to teach Cora about how to handle these days that just feel off?”

I rested (in spite of an untidy house), I knitted, I (tried) to think positive things- or at least not think to many negative things.  In short I decided to be gentle with myself, and therefore with Cora and with my life.  We took a long healing bath with crystals, and we got in our jammies a couple of hours too soon.  I put a pizza in the oven and called it dinner.

We also listened to this hilarious video of Sark being interview by Goddess Leonie.

I realised at the end of today that sometimes there is a whole lot of life to process.  I have been setting forth a whole ton of new major life projects that will take so much time and many many baby steps.  In the meantime, it felt amazing today to end up with one project fully completed.  One tiny project that will nurture the spirit of self-love and self-care.

One sweet little white washcloth, in the spirit of self-care being paramount to caring for others.  In gratitude for the fact that I even have the luxury of being too irritated to function.  And in honor of gentleness with yourself.

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5 Comments

  1. May 28, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    I really like the way you way you dealt with an off day. Your daughter will really benefit from your example of such calm and gentle coping. I’ll think of your good words the next time I’m in a funky mood! I like your lovely knitted washcloth too.

    • amandaisamomma said,

      May 29, 2010 at 11:05 am

      Suzanne, thank you so much for your kind words!! It was a real treat to find you comment this morning. Today is a better day already 🙂

  2. May 29, 2010 at 11:25 am

    I’m glad today is better for you and wish you a lovely weekend 🙂

  3. Martha Jewel said,

    May 29, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    I love that precious washcloth & the precious hands that made it.

  4. Mom said,

    May 29, 2010 at 7:32 pm

    Sweetie, baths and music. . . love you, honey:) Love the post and your thoughtful writing. Another wonderful photo. . .


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