Permission To Do Things Badly.

I happened upon this little golden nugget of brilliance today by SARK.  The timing is simply divine.

You see I am in a period of creative awkwardness.

Not one but TWO of my latest creative endevours are totally weird, they are not flowing, they are not gorgeous, they are flops, failures.  And I am beginning to understand that not only is that perfectly ok, it is totally nessasary to be willing to fail in order to be creative.  I am also getting the sense that these awkward paintings are awkward stepping stones to new directions, to new creative landscapes.  It is nessasary to make these ones in order to get to the ones that may come later, that may be brilliant(or not for that matter).  However, if I get scared and run from them and let my negative self talk keep me from painting, then that would be just tragic.  Actually it would be time lost in anguish and fear of sharing that which is inside of me.

“If you bring forth what is within you what you bring forth will save you.  If you do not bring forth what is within you what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” Jesus Gnostic Gosepel of Thomas

I get myself caught up in my expectations and standards constantly.  I think that the problem is not in being perfect, but in the expectation that I should be.  I expect my dishes and laundry to be done.  I expect my blog to be updated.  I expect Cora to eat awesome amazing all organic home cooked meals.  I expect myself to excersise most days of the week.  I expect that my art projects get better and better each and every single time.  I find myself constantly comparing myself to other people, and more my dreamed up reality of what I think other people are like.

I am now giving myself permission to do things badly.  To do things even if I’m not good at it, even if I mess up, in the hopes that I do more of all those things I may be scared to try or to start.

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3 Comments

  1. Martha Jewel said,

    July 7, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    What a perfect philosophy for a happy life! Why is it so hard to put this way of thinking into practice? Eons of lop-sided conditioning, repetitive negative “head-talk”, unreasonable comparisons to people who are probably unreasonably comparing themselves to us. The vicious cycle stops right here! We need to be our own monitors & be brutal in our determination to live joyfully! Thank you for raising my awareness. Please, keep up the good work. No pressure though.

  2. Mom said,

    July 9, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Hey honey. . . love, love, love this blog post. You know this already, but I wrote eleven years worth of “bad” drafts to be able to write “the” book that needed to be written. My point is that all those “mini-starts’ into a creative process are happy accidents along the way because they tell you when you are finished and when not.

    That quote in the center is one to live by. Amen. Amen. Amen. I learned it a little late, but better now than never.

    And. . . I love you. I am sending a big, big muah! to my little snowball and a wish for happy travels for all of you. Love, Mom

  3. July 12, 2010 at 6:38 am

    Great post. I’m glad you shared the link as I’m happy to have read and now follow that site too. The quote is interesting and very good also. Warmest wishes to you and what a relief to us all, not needing to try and be perfect 🙂


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