Cherish the Blogging Journey

“Writing is a form of cherishing”

-Julia Cameron, The Right to Write

Now that I don’t have my camera I am finding myself constantly wanting to take pictures of things.  Most of the day I have a constant blog-o-matic blog writing voice chattering away inside of my head- all the posts I hope to write one day when the subject matter finally emerges and comes together.  I usually take pictures all day-  But without a camera I have decided to find an opportunity to convey the majesty of my days in words.

When I read the quote above I immediately thought of blogging because that is what it is to me- cherishing my life, recording all that there is to cherish.  I am also practicing sharing.  Something that is one of my greatest challenges.  I’m good at being private.  Im good at being alone.  I’m good at staying busy enough not to need a lot of company.  But that is so distancing somehow.  Blogging is a way to reach out.  To convey the things that touch me.  I am on this blogging journey to make records of those things that I do, and the things that interest me, the blessings present and all that I have to be grateful for.  I am blogging to push myself to have something somewhat formal in a life that I have created a whole lot of informality.  I am trying to create a public creative outlet in a life that I have created to be so very private.  I am reaching out.

I am writing to cherish not only what it is I am writing about but also to honor that which I am here to do- that which I am still not so sure about yet.  I am here to share, and in being here hope to uncover what it is I really have to share.  I want to open up.  I want everyone to open up.  I want it to be safe to do so, and I am realizing that I am the only one who can make it safe to do so.  Not with the guarantee that everyone will love and accept me but with the strength to love myself deeply enough to recover when they don’t.  For way too long I have not been putting myself out there because I decided it is not safe, I don’t have anything valuable enough to share, and I cannot be trusted to handle myself or anything else appropriately.  So I didn’t put myself out there and doing so got scarier.

But now I want to.  I want to stop running from what intimidates me.  I want to stop running and let the waves of my fear crash over me so that I can stand solid like a rock.  I want to stop and let them make me strong.  I want to experience having a dream and believing in it even when other people don’t. And when they do too of course. 🙂

When I think of my dreams, I can’t help but think that I am living a great deal of them right now.  In fact so many of my dreams are true.  And there are many more to come.

I dream of writing, a whole lot more writing! of my ceramic studio in full swing, of gardening, canning, baking, biking.  I dream of bee hives, and worm farms.  I dream of turning our website into a full-time job for yours truly once Cora is a little older.  I dream of canvases being painted and a dream cob house being built by us in the forest.  I dream of dresses being sewn for my little girl and sweaters knit and Halloween costumes, and easter egg hunts.  I dream of family traditions being started, and nurtured year after year.

Oh yes I have dreams.

Most of all I dream of opening, opening up to the world like I haven’t been hurt by it.  I dream of being the fool, trusting, naive.  I dream of sharing more.

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4 Comments

  1. marthajewel said,

    August 22, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    Expressing yourself with only your beautiful and inspirational words is a perfect substitute for your camera.

  2. Sue Rockwell said,

    August 22, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Amanda, I am touched by this blog. Your photos are good, but your writting captures so much.
    Keep on writing and dreaming sweetheart.

  3. August 24, 2010 at 11:39 pm

    Honey, I will hold your hand all the way on this journey (if you want it). I was so touched by this post, I am almost speechless. I have waited for years to know these things about you. Love, Mom

  4. jody said,

    August 28, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    I love your dreams Amanda and my dreams are so similar to some of your own!!!! I’ve said it once & I’ll say it a million times You truly are an inspiration!!!!


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