Being Real

Soemtimes there is just so much to say.  I just don’t know where to start.

I am deciding to start with being real.

I wish I could say that this week has been a week of prolific creation, and in some regards it has.  But mostly it has been a week of me taking care of my family.  Holding my baby who is teething with an early autumn cold. And teething almost the very last of her baby teeth.

I’ve been taking care of a counter full of vegetables that I am very much committed to fully honoring.  They have been sliced and diced, cooked or baked and frozen.  Now I have a frezzer full of ready made cassoroles, breads, and soup.  As well as a few jars of raw pickles.   And man does that feel good.

My house is getting the attention that a house gets when the Mommy isn’t wearing side blinders in order to guiltlessly escape chores to get into the ceramics studio to make stuff.  This week I have been dilligently staying on top of the messes, the laundry pile.  Our bed is getting made.

On the flip side I wonder if I’m avoiding my studio and my creativity because last week I made a successful creative leap and I want to live up to the last peice and I don’t know if I can do it again.

or maybe I just need a break?  Or I just need to let up on myself and realize that I am a woman balancing all of the dream come trues of my present moment, with the dreams I am so excited to make come true.

There are mountains of projects and piles of dreams and ambitions longing to live outside of my being, that only have a fighting chance of being realized during an hour and a half at naptime, or after 9.

And instead of tackling those mountains, I retreat to the garden, because the days when I can do so without shoes on are numbered and I love to hear the buzz of the bugs all excited after its been watered.  They are my people.  It is my steady place against which I can compare the days to each other and notice that the air and energy is completely shifting, and so are the animals.  I get to observe slow things, like the leaves on the cucumber vine are beginning to brown on the edges and it is now in the shade earlier in the day than it was before.

I love being in the garden.  I am replenished there.  Nourished, and fed by those plants in so many ways.

And I suppose that that is just as important as the work in my studio, and my projects and dreams and ambitions.  So these days I’m enjoy my garden while the season lasts.  And being present for my baby while she’s still little.


Welcome Home

Its been two months since we’ve moved into our new home.  I thought it was about time to take a tour!!

This is our kitchen.  It is as clean as it will ever be, which is what made me grab my camera and capturing a rare moment when our home is mostly clean.

This is mys special reading and writing corner 🙂  Complete with original artworks, happy house plants, oracle cards, and of course a whole bunch of crystals, oh and books.

Our living room and painting studio.

Le Bathroom… our place for quiet serenity and daily soulful nourishment.

Our bedroom. or at least one side of it.

And the other side.

And of course……My Studio!!!!  This room has been getting a great deal of time and attention from me these past couple of weeks.

This is Todd’s side of the studio.

So there you have it, the inside of our new home.  It is honestly one of my favorite places I have ever lived.    I love how the spaces are supporting a lifestyle that I’ve always wanted.  My studio is right off the family room and so its very easy to just pop out there and steal a few moments.  Me and Cora are spending so much time basking in the glorious outdoor spaces here, petting horses and feeding chickens.  The garden is our daily classroom along with the kitchen.  We spend our days picking vegetables, and making food.

This blue plastic lawn chair sitting in the garden is my absolute favorite place in the whole world.

And these are some of our new friends.

Love the Infinite

The Greatest Power in the Universe + Infinite Supply = LOVE

Life is just so overwhelmingly gorgeous sometimes, you know?  And sometimes I have a hard time figuring out what exactly to say about it all.

Our days right now are consumed with enjoying every last drop of summer while it lasts, long steep walks and gorgeous views with friends, precious moments with a precious little girl (always!), a whole lotta clay throwing (yay for me!!, and the most beautiful and divine cucumber vine that I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

P.s.  AND I got a new camera!!!!!

Bribe to Inspire

This morning I discovered I am not above bribery when it comes to coercing my little beam of heanvenly light into her car-seat.

Like all baby/toddlers, she has moments of strong preference that is simply in disagreement from my strong preferences.  Like every Mother on this planet I am learning how to tango with these moments.

This morning, I was not late for an appointment, and I did not have to pee.  And she did not want to get into her car seat.  Before when this has happened I’ve handled it in a variety of ways, everything from waiting it out, to talking her into it, and even using brute force and just letting her deal with it(cry it out:( )  I’ve decided that that last method is simply no longer an acceptable option, unless there is an emergency and I cannot do anything else.  I have realized that physically handling her, forcing her to do what she doesn’t want do is out of alignment with the relationship that I ultimately want to create with her.   Unless I truly have no other choice, I will no longer do it.

I’m finding Motherhood to be a daily stream of opportunities to find creative solutions to problems.  I do not wish to control my baby.  I wish to inspire her. I do not want to create moments her day where she felt powerless and her preferences and choices disrespected. I want her to know that I do respect her voice just like I did when she was a baby.  And that I will always meet her requests when they are reasonable and realistic.   I trust that when she is given the respect from me to allow her to make her own choices (within the bounds of reality and safety of course) that she will ultimately and eventually give me the same respect back.  I can use brute force on her now when she is tiny, but this will no longer work very soon.

I could use brute force or I could grow and learn and become more creative and more dynamic.

So there we were in the car, Cora standing in her car seat, refusing to sit down and telling me to go away. And me thinking, I really don’t want to bully her, ever again.  I don’t want that unpleasant black smear on a perfectly good morning.  And then I saw a book that we had just bought for 2$ at the sidewalk sale.

“Look what I have!!  “The Shy Little Kitten.””

She was interested.

“Wow, the kitty is playing! she’s having so much fun!  Do you want to see it?  Okay, sit down in your car seat and you can have it!

And just like that, she was in her car seat faster than I could say once upon a time.

No force. No tears.

And we rode home in happy peace, her talking to me telling me all about the friends we saw downtown, about lunch.  And I rode home so relieved to have one more tool in my belt, one that is gentle, non-violent, and non- forceful.  She was empowered to decide to sit in her seat, instead of being forced to do it..

Be Generous

If I were to offer baby parenting advise to anyone (and I probably wouldn’t, but this is my blog, I’ll say what I want to)  It would be this…

Give all of yourself.  Give every last morsel and every last crumb of love that you can find and then crawl around on your hands and knees, and find some more.  Be a total fool in loving your baby, give her all of you.  Trust her voice.  Listen to her grunts and grimaces.  Hold her when she cries, even if you cannot stop the crying, just to tell her that you will always hold her when she cries. Don’t be suspicious when she needs you.  Don’t ask questions about why your baby needs your love and patience all the time, day and night.  Just give it.  And then give some more.  Let your baby tell you exactly what she needs.  Tell her you’re listening.  Let your baby find out exactly how to get what she wants from you. Let her know that all she has to do is ask.

People have said that if one gives a baby everything she asks for then she will know how to manipulate you for the things she wants.  The exact opposite is the case.  If you give her everything she asks for (within the realistic confines of health and safety and um reality),  She will know that in order to have her needs met, all she has to do is ask.  Communication is simple.  Straightforward.

If she is not listened  and responded to she will have to get creative.  She will out of necessity be forced to manipulate in order to have her needs be met.  Communication becomes complicated.  Life already offers many opportunities for her to learn that she doesn’t always get her way.  Why create more of them?

Trust your baby, trust her body, trust her voice.  In turn your baby will trust you.

Be Generous.