Courage

 

“Courage is nessasary to creativity but not as necessary as most of us think.  Too often, we confuse courage with comfort.  We want to wait until something feels comfortable before we try it.  There is a certain touching childishness about this notion.  It has lingering overtones of Jack and the Beanstalk, Aladdin, and even Merlin.

It goes like this.

“‘One day magically, we will feel safe and protected and powerful.  When we do, then we will let ourselves begin the novel, the piano lessons, the acting class…'”  – From The Vein of Gold by Julia Cameron

It never fails to amaze me that no matter how many blog posts published, how many art projects completed, or dance classes attended, that there is always a moment in the cycle of creativity where beginning again is so dang hard.  Sometimes, it feels as though writing a simple blog post and then pushing the *publish* button is like my first jump off the high diving board.  And no matter how many times I have managed to muster up the courage to just do it, and have survived the outcome- always better for it- it just doesn’t ever get too much easier.

I think this is because the nature of art and creativity is that through growth we are always on the threshhold of uncharted territory.  Every time I complete a cycle and lay still in the soulful silence of abyss between projects, I’m *waiting* for that tiny whisper, that says “its time!”  And like all intuitive whisperings and listenings I am take a chance to go following a teeny tiny voice when it comes.  It’s taking a chance to trust that promising sweet little voice.

I think, “What if I’m wrong, what if I fail, what if its not worth it, who am I kidding, don’t you know how important a clean house is?!?!?”  And a whole other slew of unhelpful thoughts.

Over and over again I have learned that it always pays to take the chance.  No matter how uncomfortable to go out on that limb, to dive into cold water, to face the opinions of others.  It always pays to take the chance.

There are many projects on the horizon for me, I don’t know if any of them are worth it, destined to be successful, important, or necessary.  I’m as scared as ever.  But here I go, leaping anyway!

 

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3 Comments

  1. Martha Jewel said,

    February 16, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    Well, my dear, you have done it again! You have been reading my diary! Do all creative people have the same insecurities? I’m not putting myself on your level of creativity, but the cycle of hesitancy and doubt and the reluctance to “step out” is the same. You described it perfectly and beautifully, as always.

  2. Jennifer said,

    February 17, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    I’m so thankful that you took the leap because your posts always touch me.
    You have just named something I’ve always felt but was never fully conscious of it. Beginning a project, a post whatever creative endeavor has always been uncomfortable for me but once I “take the leap” things usually flow. I think this is partly why I don’t post very often and I always wonder how do bloggers post everday?

  3. February 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    I’m catching up on your blogs. They are wonderful, insightful, and so inspiring. Just keep on taking chances.


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