What a Man

I must take a moment here to brag on my husband. Remember last nights mess? Well I didn’t get a great nights sleep. I usually don’t, that is just how it is with a baby around. this morning Todd took her to the living room to play so I could get another hour of sleep, and what do you know?! Those toys were picked up! The counters were wiped!!! The baby had been fed breakfast!!!
Ok that’s all. I had to give my man some extra props today. What a man.

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Embracing/Boycotting the Mess

For tonight, I spare you a picture. Right now I am wholeheartedly accepting a big fat mess in this house. This mess is the result, or rather the byproduct of a whole lotta good living around here. I’ve been spending mornings working at our shop, afternoons playing with the snuggle buggy baby boo while she’s still a baby. I’m told it all goes so fast, so whats a few (dozen) toys scattered around the floor? Whats a few loads of laundry and messy counter tops? Tonight Todd is out hopefully drinking beer and having a good time. As for me? I find myself in a quiet, albeit messy, house tinkering away at a few projects- having my own little party. Basking in luxury of giving myself full permission to just let it go……
I may regret this in the morning when I wake up to total chaos. But luckily I have this blog post to remind myself how I got into this mess 🙂

Current…See


Here are a few current happenings in our lives. I made a bright blue collar, or cowl, or neck wrap, whatever you like to call it:)

Me and Cora have been spending an awful lot of time in the yard- me turning the compost pile, hoping to make some good dirt in time for spring planting. I’m realizing that my time is running out and I may have to move these piles of leaves from our beds and enrich the soil other ways. Mighty proud of myself for doing anything in the yard while keeping an eye on my little sugar plum here.

Enjoy an evening tickling/ wrestleing match. Dada vs. Coco Snosno. My kinda entertainment. 🙂

The 4 O’clock Drop

I’m noticing a pattern happening in my days. I’ve been noticing it for a good long time actually. Every day around 4 o’clock several things happen:

-My energy level goes from 10 to zero.

-the baby suddenly forgets that she learned how to walk- a few weeks ago.

-there is nothing of interest in the house to her. Not one toy or activity is of any interest(except for me).

-I need to make dinner. (and have not yet cleaned up from lunch, or breakfast for that matter)

-Clutter is scattered on every surface throughout the house. Toys, mail, remnants of errands, it looks as though I have been doing nothing all day.

-Sometimes I even find myself knee deep in some type of over ambitious (and messy) reorganizing/crafting/kitchen project and there is no way I’ll get out of it and make dinner and clean the house in time for my Dearest to get home.

I usually end up struggling through those last couple of hours, beating myself up for not being more “on top of it” So I have been brainstorming some solutions to this 4 o’clock Drop.

-Drink some tea. There must be a reason that other cultures have time in their day called Tea Time. Many have siesta- this is a time to relax. Our culture says drink some Red Bull and barrel through it- there’s money to be made!

-Close my eyes and breathe just for a moment.(except of course those eyes in the back of my head that grew when I had Cora) I’m not good at this relaxing stuff. I haven’t had but 3 naps in my whole life. I want to DO something.

-Recruit the dog. Why hadn’t I thought of this before?! Gypsy the dog can buy me at least 15 minuets. More than enough time to get dinner started and get the kitchen semi in order.

-Remember that we are no longer living in the 50’s and Betty and June are not down the street gossiping about my dirty floor. and now that the baby walks instead of crawls-her knees and hands are no longer a dead giveaway to anyone paying close attention!

-Cassaroles and Crockpots! Make dinner in the morning when I think I have the energy to take on the whole world. This will require a bit of planning- its annoying how sometimes it takes more effort and planning to make something easier. But that’s just the way it is.

We’ll see how this works. I am going to make a conscious effort to anticipate this drop in energy and head it off at the pass. I’m welcoming any suggestions. 🙂

Warm Hands


Well, I’ve been working on the simplest of knitting projects, a pair of hand cozies- that are really just 2 rectangles sewed up the side with a hole for a thumb. I started these last week and thought they would have been finished in an evening. But, I started them and took them apart about five times- each. I even finished each one only to realize they were the wrong size and once again took them apart. But halleluha! they are done and my hands are warm! They are perfect for holding babies and mugs of tea:)
And here is my knitting future….

A Bath Garden


I have not one but two projects to share with you. But they will have to wait because today I must write about the loveliest of gifts given to me.
After two weeks of flying solo, Todd treated me to a luxurious day of wellness. I got to go to Chozu Bath Garden for an afternoon of soaking in warm pools, sweating in saunas, and wrapping it all up with a deep tissue massage. What a man. What a day.
One would think that by simply entering such a space, filled with water fountains, a japanese inspired landscape, and total serentiy, that I would have collapsed into bliss immediately and never returned. But no, I tell you it required a great deal of effort to turn off the chatterbox in my head and give my heart and my body center stage. I did my best to turn off the grocery list making, to do list making, blog writing,(I’m just excited by it is all)- and boy oh boy did it do me a world of good. In fact it showed me just how much I am going to need to practice this winding down a little bit more frequently than I normally get to.
So what did I do instead of write my to do lists?(cause lord knows I must be doing something at all times)
I prayed.
I prayed thank you for the richly blessed life that I get to live. I prayed thank you for the health care I was given the opportunity to experience this day. I prayed thank you for living at a time when so much transformation is taking place in the human conciousness. I prayed for my loving husband who provides and nurtures our family. I prayed thank you for my daughter, for her health and well being, and for the way that getting to take care of her makes me a bigger and better woman than I knew myself to be. I prayed thank you for the strength that has always been given to me whenever I have needed it. I prayed for the strength to heal those matters that still lingered….
I thought about what a powerful experience it is to simply be with oneself with that intention- the intention to heal. I’ve been realizing in my daily life how the small rituals I do everyday to care for my body count so dearly. Rarely do I get but 10 or 15 minuets to groom, so its definitely not the quantity but the quality of that time that counts. I thought about how I intend to be more mindful, and more relaxed with the time I do get. I thought about how I have the chance to care for my body throughout the day in so many ways no matter how busy. Every meal, every walk. I thought about how this is the true meaning of health care. Ritual care of ones self. (and of course I thought *easier said than done* for sure- but what is life if not a work in progress?)
I feel relaxed, and grateful. (and deserving:))
Anyways I must run for I have a photo shoot to conduct for tomorrows post………..

"Women of Earth Take Back Your Birth"

Now I know that my blog is all over the place right now. I don’t really know what the focus is yet. I do know that I am using it as a creative tool- a tool for searching, searching for what it is that I truely want to do. So at the risk of being random, again, I was inspired to write a poem.
I gave birth last year, my experience was one of the biggest most profound events of my life. Im sure it is that way for everyone. But i am not just talking of having a baby- I am speaking of the actual birthing experience itself. I had my baby at home naturally and I have always wanted to write about it. I never really knew how to go about it. Then I was directed to these poems and was inspired by their format and style. So I decided to give it a go.
Now I haven’t written a poem since the age of 10 so forgive the very elementary poetry. But it did the job and I’m happy to have finally said on paper what has been on my mind and heart for over a year now.

Born a Mother

a quiet sleepless night, as usual
waiting
a splash, unusual
it’s time.

The midwife is here,
everything is fine,

Relax
Surrender

Hours pass
the waves are soft,
crashing in the distance
coming to take us
on our journey ahead.

The waves grow
they are strong
Stronger than I think myself to be
“Call on the Strength of your Ancestor Grandmothers!”
and thier light is surrounding me.

The waves are crashing now
I Surrender
Willingly
They take me with thunder
to places I didn’t know reside inside of me.

I grow and go deeper
thrashing to the place of infinity
There I find her
My little light, my guide
I find her in the place where the strongest part of me resides
We dance and she leads
I open my soul completely.

Surrendering, Willingly

and in one instant
she slips through
born to light
and I am born a Mother
Now knowing the strongest part of me.

As She Wishes

As much as I have cherished every bit of this baby time that I know will be short lived there are certain phases that I am so looking forward to. One of them is Cora having preferences in what she is wearing. I absolutely love it when I see a little elmo or fireman/princess walking around. What a beautiful way to get to express ones self. I have been so excited to see what Cora will come up with and who she wants to be. For the past couple of days Cora has found some item of my clothing and put a strap around her neck. Finally it dawned on me- my baby is accessorizing!!! I did not expect this so soon. Today Cora chose to adorn herself in my tank shirt that I sleep in last night. never mind that she got it out of the laundry and its not exactly the, um, most practical playground accessory, I decided she should get to wear it if she wants. I’ll stand by it proudly:)

Another Link in The Chain

Wow. Its been a good long time since I have posted. I’m not going to beat myself up about that- though I’m sure there is a part of me that may try. I’m here now. I’m absolutely gushing about a comment left on my last post and feeling so very encouraged to keep at this blog for what its worth. 🙂 I’m also back from a very refreshing visit to Arizona for a visit with my Grandparents and for the Tuscon Gem and Mineral Show. Clearly I have a lot to write about.
Since having a baby I have thought about tradition and ancestry so much more than I ever have in my life. Since wanting to change the way I live I have thought so much more about the way things used to be done. My Grandma is in the process of planning a family reunion this year so these subjects came up a lot during our visit. My Grandma is the youngest of her family and she has already lost siblings. Ours is the sort of family (like many these days) that is sprawled out all over the land. We are lucky to come together here and there for special occasions. Basically we do not have very many opportunities for passing down family traditions. And until recently I did not even realize that I cared about that. I now find myself wanting a way of life that looks more like the lives of these women who came before me.
So while we were visiting my Grandma and I made good use of our time together and she showed me my very first knitting pattern. A dish cloth, taught to her by her Mother. This is a precious thing to me that while I wash dishes everyday I will remember our visit. Stitched into this little cloth is the stories she told me, the encouragement she gave me, the homemade noodle soup she made us, the peanut butter cake, and the pitter patter of little Cora marching around the house telling Pepe the dog “No!” It’s just a dish cloth. But what a precious dish cloth it is to me. And how wonderful is it that I will never again for as long as I live ever have to buy a dish cloth?! That is a gift that keeps on giving.

Dish Cloth

One skein of cotton yarn -worsted weight
#7 knitting needles

Cast on 4 stitches
Knit 2 rows
Knit 2, yarn over, knit to the end of the row
repeat to 40 stitches

Knit 1, knit 2 together yarn over knit to together knit to the end of the row
repeat to 6 stitches
decrease to 3 stitches
Bind off